Life Ain't Always Beautiful

Life has been pretty hard the last few of months. If you read my blog you know that my mom has had a recurrence of ovarian cancer that was found back in February. Last week she went to see her oncologist for a follow up from surgery. We thought she would be starting chemo last week or this week, but much to our surprise and shock we found out that the tumor has already come back just after 10 weeks after surgery removing it. She had a PET scan today to see if it has spread anywhere else. Treatment has been put on hold until we know more. Please say a prayer that it has not spread. Hopefully we will have the results back before the weekend.

Mom's spirits have been pretty amazing for the most part. I have had my ups and downs. Trying to stay positive and keep my mind off of it. Nothing good comes out of thinking about this nasty stuff and what it might be doing to her precioous body. Though I find myself many times at night praying and asking God why again? why us? how much more are you going to throw her way? hasn't our family already been through enough?

I can't express how great of a support system my family and I have. We have a great circle of friends and family. They have been great and many are there at a moments notice.

Through all of this, no matter the outcome, I know that God is making us stronger. Building a testimony out of this and using us for the god of others.

I leave you with the lyrics to a song that has been on my mind lately through all of this by Gary Allen. This song has great promise that life ain't always beautiful, but it makes us stronger and it is a beautiful ride.

Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin it's sweet time

CHOURS
No, life ain't always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

Life ain't always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin it's sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful
But i know i'll be fine
Hey, life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

Life

*Warning: This post is gonna be a deep one!

Life has been really tough lately. I have always seemed to have pretty big life changing moments throughout my life; more than anyone should have to deal with especially at such a young age. I always know that I will get through those storms and seasons with the support of my family, friends and most importantly God.
A month ago my mom was diagnosed with a recurrence of Ovarian Cancer. It came back almost exactly five years after the first occurrence. She had surgery the first time to remove all of her female parts.  This time it came back in the same area but attached itself to the colon, bladder and female genital. Fortunately they were able to get the whole tumor out again. Unfortunately, she will have to go through another round of chemo that will last at least a year and half. She is a fighter and will win this battle again! God will once again heal here of this nasty disease! I know that she will live many many more years and see the birth of my children one day and see them grow up!
As her daughter this has been so heart wrenching to watch her go through this AGAIN! Many times when I was staying at the hospital with her and even when she came home and Kevin and I were staying with her I would have to fight back the tears and tell myself to keep it together for her.  My mom is a very strong woman and I know she will get through it this time just like she did the last. I have to be the strong one in this situation, which has been hard at times.

 

Growing up she was a great mom and now that I am grown and married she has become one of my best friends.  She was always there for my brother and I and she did a darn good job raising us by herself for what some consider some of the most challenging years of childhood. My father died from cardiac arrest when he was only 40. I was only nine at the time.  She made sure we had everything we needed and then some. She raised us in a loving Christian home and has helped mold us into the individuals we are today.  Now I am the one reassuring her that everything is going to be okay and making sure she is ok.  It's crazy how roles in life can reverse so quickly and so early. You never expect when you are in your mid-twenties that you will have to deal with such grown up things with your parents. Life sometimes comes too quickly and that is when we have to so grateful for what we have and not take for granted our relationships with others.

With God's help our family will get through this and not only get through it, but come out of it even stronger! Every event and every season in life has its purpose. I know that God uses those to mold us and to continue to mold us into the person he wants us to be.

If you don't mind keep my mom in your prayers as she continues to recover from surgery and as she prepares to start chemo! Thanks y'all!

Hope everyone has a great weekend and a happy Cinco de Mayo!