Faith

In life there are struggles and hard times. We are not promised a life of pure, constant happiness . There will be good times and bad times, happy times and sad times. I have had several seasons in my life that have not been so happy due to tragic events  that were out of my control. Although I have had to face many life atlering moments, I have chosen to make the most out of everything and eventually turn turmoil into happiness. At the age of 9 my dad passed away unexpectedly. Five years ago my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was just recently diagnosed with a recurrence that has spread to her liver, hip and abdomen. These are just three of the seasons, one of which I am currently going through, that I have not enjoyed by any means.   Losing a dad at a young age and watching your mom battle a nasty disease is heart wrenching.  I have also lost a best friend to suicide while I was in the midst of going through a very bad situation with an ex-boyfriend while in college. This was my lowest point in life. I do not wish any of the latter on ANYONE! I have become stronger through it all and hope to help others that might go through the same things because I have been through it. Sometimes it is just an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.

I have always been a church-goer and had a relationship with God, but when the unexpected hits us like a ton of bricks it is so hard to not question God. In those times I seek God and dig into his word. It is what keeps me going. I have to say, I am not the best when it comes to reading my Bible daily and during the difficult seasons in life God is faithful and always points me to what I need to see and read in His word. It is so refreshing to know that when I am not always faithful, He is and his unconditional love for me gets me through this thing we call life.

No matter what you are going through know that God is there when no one else seems to be. I'll leave you with this quote that I try to live by daily!  Enjoy!



Life Ain't Always Beautiful

Life has been pretty hard the last few of months. If you read my blog you know that my mom has had a recurrence of ovarian cancer that was found back in February. Last week she went to see her oncologist for a follow up from surgery. We thought she would be starting chemo last week or this week, but much to our surprise and shock we found out that the tumor has already come back just after 10 weeks after surgery removing it. She had a PET scan today to see if it has spread anywhere else. Treatment has been put on hold until we know more. Please say a prayer that it has not spread. Hopefully we will have the results back before the weekend.

Mom's spirits have been pretty amazing for the most part. I have had my ups and downs. Trying to stay positive and keep my mind off of it. Nothing good comes out of thinking about this nasty stuff and what it might be doing to her precioous body. Though I find myself many times at night praying and asking God why again? why us? how much more are you going to throw her way? hasn't our family already been through enough?

I can't express how great of a support system my family and I have. We have a great circle of friends and family. They have been great and many are there at a moments notice.

Through all of this, no matter the outcome, I know that God is making us stronger. Building a testimony out of this and using us for the god of others.

I leave you with the lyrics to a song that has been on my mind lately through all of this by Gary Allen. This song has great promise that life ain't always beautiful, but it makes us stronger and it is a beautiful ride.

Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin it's sweet time

CHOURS
No, life ain't always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

Life ain't always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin it's sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful
But i know i'll be fine
Hey, life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

Life

*Warning: This post is gonna be a deep one!

Life has been really tough lately. I have always seemed to have pretty big life changing moments throughout my life; more than anyone should have to deal with especially at such a young age. I always know that I will get through those storms and seasons with the support of my family, friends and most importantly God.
A month ago my mom was diagnosed with a recurrence of Ovarian Cancer. It came back almost exactly five years after the first occurrence. She had surgery the first time to remove all of her female parts.  This time it came back in the same area but attached itself to the colon, bladder and female genital. Fortunately they were able to get the whole tumor out again. Unfortunately, she will have to go through another round of chemo that will last at least a year and half. She is a fighter and will win this battle again! God will once again heal here of this nasty disease! I know that she will live many many more years and see the birth of my children one day and see them grow up!
As her daughter this has been so heart wrenching to watch her go through this AGAIN! Many times when I was staying at the hospital with her and even when she came home and Kevin and I were staying with her I would have to fight back the tears and tell myself to keep it together for her.  My mom is a very strong woman and I know she will get through it this time just like she did the last. I have to be the strong one in this situation, which has been hard at times.

 

Growing up she was a great mom and now that I am grown and married she has become one of my best friends.  She was always there for my brother and I and she did a darn good job raising us by herself for what some consider some of the most challenging years of childhood. My father died from cardiac arrest when he was only 40. I was only nine at the time.  She made sure we had everything we needed and then some. She raised us in a loving Christian home and has helped mold us into the individuals we are today.  Now I am the one reassuring her that everything is going to be okay and making sure she is ok.  It's crazy how roles in life can reverse so quickly and so early. You never expect when you are in your mid-twenties that you will have to deal with such grown up things with your parents. Life sometimes comes too quickly and that is when we have to so grateful for what we have and not take for granted our relationships with others.

With God's help our family will get through this and not only get through it, but come out of it even stronger! Every event and every season in life has its purpose. I know that God uses those to mold us and to continue to mold us into the person he wants us to be.

If you don't mind keep my mom in your prayers as she continues to recover from surgery and as she prepares to start chemo! Thanks y'all!

Hope everyone has a great weekend and a happy Cinco de Mayo!

A Day of Remembrance

It's hard to believe that a year ago today, tornadoes ripped through the state and took the lives of 250+ people and damaged thousands of homes and businesses. I remember the day like it was yesterday. April 27th will be one of those days like 9/11 that we will never forget. It took me 3 hours to get to work that morning because a tornado had ripped across one of the main highways in the city going toward downtown. Power poles were down and the road was closed. That was a smaller tornado, but it did so much damage to hundreds of houses and many businesses.  The rest of the day everyone was on pins and needles for what was expected and what we would later see on live TV. It was so tragic and sureal. A tornado around a mile wide would track across the center of our state. The town of my college alma mater was hit hard and it will never look the same.

After that day our state came together as one to help find loved ones, begin the cleanup or just lend a shoulder to cry on. Celebrities from all over would even show up to cleanup and Red Cross sites to lend a hand. Benefit concerts took place. Even this day, one year later, Bo Jackson, Lance Armstrong and others are biking across the state to raise needed funds to continue the clean-up and rebuilding process.

Kevin and I attended one of  the many benefit concerts Bama Rising that Brad Paisley and Alabama put on along with several other country artists. It was awesome to see the kind of support and love our state was shown during that tragic time.

Events like these make you realize how precious this life is. I pray that many lives were changed for the better after that sad and tragic day. A song that was played with many of the vidoes showing the damage was "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns. Everytime I hear that song I am reminded of that day and how even in the hard times we are to praise Him. God is the one who will get us through the many "storms" in our lives.

On a happier note HAPPY FRIDAY and I hope everyone has a great weekend!